Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Sadness is when....

I used to write frequently, expressing my thoughts into words. Words which are able to be understood and portray a picture that everyone else can imagine. These words are a remedy for my soul where sadness, anger, disappointment are turned into happiness, joy and hope. It's a strange process and therapy but it helps. I just need the exact words and emotions to write how I feel. The deepest sadness is when a relationship (regardless with family, friendship or BGR) comes to an end.

After Them.

After them,
there is a full-stop to everything they used to do together.
After them,
there is no more referring them as 'them' but 'he' and 'she'.
After them,
there is no more going back to friendship but merely a stranger they don't recognize.
After them,
there is no more future ahead of them as a pair.
After them,
what is left behind is just a memory; there are sweet ones and bitter ones.
After them,
all they can do is to carry on with life without looking back.
Because that's what it meant to be 'after them'.

Is it necessary? 

Am I?

Sometimes, I expect too much and the hurts come when that expectation isn't met. 

I just don't want to be that person who is hopeless and has lost the purpose of living.  

As a reminder. =) 




Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Them

It was just another regular night for her before going to bed but that night didn't seem to turn up to be as usual as she expected because it was the night when he admitted  that he likes her. For her, this sudden news happened speedily. She wasn't aware of his feelings for her. All she thought was that it was another girl from the same class as them who dazzled him. She was just curious who was that mysterious girl who managed to catch his attention. So she enquired him for a name. Not until that night when he said it was her. For once, she was taken aback by his news and didn't quite trust his words. But he affirmed her with words of confirmation that he wasn't fooling around with his emotion.
She realized that it took him extra courage to confess to her about his feelings and she believed him after some time later.  
His attentive attention was once lost to another girl in his hometown. He didn't defeat himself from that girl and was wounded just like how a bird got its wing injured. She knew this incident and so wasn't ready to take him into her own hands to cure for him lest creating another wound. She wants to be sure before picking him up from his past. 
   


It seemed to her that the world just stop spinning for that instant second, her heart rate speed up to  150bpm and her stomach started to form butterflies. He was a friend to her who she can be rude to and he doesn't mind. Well, at least that's what she thinks. A friend she trusts the most with her secrets and her deepest fear. He was someone that she ever took off her mask for, a person where she can be herself and not afraid of being the laughing stock. 
That night, she was blown with complete surprise by his answer and it was her first time in nineteen years living on this planet that a guy which she might admire, affirms her that she is worth to be grown fond of. She knew that her feelings were real for him too but she needs more time to ponder over it. She never thought that this would come as quick as this. She wants him to stay true to her if his feelings were real by pursuing her for probably months or even years before she can accept him. She likes him, yes but more time is needed to prove his sincerity of love.      

She remembered the day she went for photo shoots with another guy who played as Romeo, it  was the day he tasted sourness to see her being embraced by another guy. He looked at the so-called 'couples' with an aching heart and the worst part of it all, he was the one to look into the lens and give directions for them to hug tighter and smile like love-birds just to capture that atmosphere of a pair of passionate lovers... 

To be continue

True story? You bet so

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

We are just being humans

I've seen too much ugliness in humans' trait. Is there beauty in us, humans? We're purely humans. We are not perfect, we are all being humans with flaws. Half blood (half human, half god) doesn't exist. Deep down inside each human, there's a concealed beast. Anger, Covetousness, Fear, Lust, Violence... These awful beasts cause destruction to oneself. They're known as Sins, Devil's best partner. They tear us apart from God. They can crush us into deadly pieces and if we're not careful enough, we'll be destroyed.
Without God's sufficient grace, we're FINISHED; without His everlasting love, there's no redemption of LIFE; without His unlimited forgiveness, all of us will be carrying our burden of GUILT.
"The thief comes to steal, to kill and to destroy; I've come that they may have life and have it to the full." (John 10:10)
God gave us everlasting life through His Only Son, Jesus Christ.
I faced people who cannot deal with their own anger, I witnessed people who are unfaithful, I read stories about victims beaten up by cruel and heartless masters. These acts indicate that Jesus is coming back for the second time. All these will increase continually as the world comes to an end.
I'm sad of all these happenings. I've seen too much. Mother adviced me: Either all these make me a better person or a bitter person. Better in a sense that I promise myself never to be like them or bitter by giving up hope on others and eventually God. I want to strive to become a BETTER person.
I want to bear these fruits: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Self Control.