Gratitude

Gratitude - one word that is defined as the feeling of being grateful and wanting to express your thanks, yet not everyone is able to be grateful about things.

I admit that sometimes, I can't really express my gratitude and I do not feel grateful all the time. I do complain about my life, of how terrible and lacking I am. I would also compare myself with those who are richer and more capable than me. I used to have this habit of being competitive  and being materialistic. I thought I had grown up of this stage but to my disappointment, I haven't. I've failed myself and also my mum.

It's really a sad case to see myself being this way. I hate being this way but somehow I just feel this way. Maybe I think too much, I worry about unnecessary things, of how people might think about me. It's because of ingratitude and materialisms  that I become disenchanted with what can last forever: relationships.

Nevertheless, I'm happy to have a mum who has strong will about life and also about eternity.

She is the one who nurture my down-cast spirit. She is just like calcium which strengthen my bones. I cannot imagine my life without her. She encourages me when I really need it the most. My prayer to God is please do extend her life-span on earth.

Well, I complaint to her again today. Then she told me a story.

It went like this:

There was once a girl who lived in a city but her family was poor. Her father has been borrowing money from money-lender and there were times when gangsters will come to their doorsteps, banging on the door to demand her father to pay the money that he owed. The girl's life was in danger and she never once feels safe or secure. She is always in alarmed about what might happen next. Fear dwelt within her as there would always be unexpected 'visitors' with thuggish brutality of treating to kill her family if the debts are not settled. She made a vow to herself that she will never let her mother suffer in this kind of situation any more. She wants to be rich and to be protected by true love. She craved for security. But she didn't realize that she has created a creature of unsatisfactory, the desire to owe more and ultimately turned into covetousness, longing for things people has.

After a decade, she was married to a rich man. She nearly has everything she wants but her life was never happy.

She would grumble over her life of how lacking she is but she never once think about the person who is poorer than her.

Her life ended miserably. 

Finally, she asked me: Do you want your life to be like hers? Look at the people around you, not everyone is rich. Maybe God placed you in this family because He wants you to be someone better. Let's say, if you are born in a rich family, not lacking anything, will you learn to be thankful or will you to consider others besides yourself? 

What she said made me thought deeply...

I like this.