Them

It was just another regular night for her before going to bed but that night didn't seem to turn up to be as usual as she expected because it was the night when he admitted  that he likes her. For her, this sudden news happened speedily. She wasn't aware of his feelings for her. All she thought was that it was another girl from the same class as them who dazzled him. She was just curious who was that mysterious girl who managed to catch his attention. So she enquired him for a name. Not until that night when he said it was her. For once, she was taken aback by his news and didn't quite trust his words. But he affirmed her with words of confirmation that he wasn't fooling around with his emotion.

She realized that it took him extra courage to confess to her about his feelings and she believed him after some time later.  

His attentive attention was once lost to another girl in his hometown. He didn't defeat himself from that girl and was wounded just like how a bird got its wing injured. She knew this incident and so wasn't ready to take him into her own hands to cure for him lest creating another wound. She wants to be sure before picking him up from his past. 
   

It seemed to her that the world just stop spinning for that instant second, her heart rate speed up to  150bpm and her stomach started to form butterflies. He was a friend to her who she can be rude to and he doesn't mind. Well, at least that's what she thinks. A friend she trusts the most with her secrets and her deepest fear. He was someone that she ever took off her mask for, a person where she can be herself and not afraid of being the laughing stock. 

That night, she was blown with complete surprise by his answer and it was her first time in nineteen years living on this planet that a guy which she might admire, affirms her that she is worth to be grown fond of. She knew that her feelings were real for him too but she needs more time to ponder over it. She never thought that this would come as quick as this. She wants him to stay true to her if his feelings were real by pursuing her for probably months or even years before she can accept him. She likes him, yes but more time is needed to prove his sincerity of love.      

She remembered the day she went for photo shoots with another guy who played as Romeo, it  was the day he tasted sourness to see her being embraced by another guy. He looked at the so-called 'couples' with an aching heart and the worst part of it all, he was the one to look into the lens and give directions for them to hug tighter and smile like love-birds just to capture that atmosphere of a pair of passionate lovers... 

To be continue

True story? You bet so

We are just being humans

I've seen too much ugliness in humans' trait. Is there beauty in us, humans? We're purely humans. We are not perfect, we are all being humans with flaws. Half blood (half human, half god) doesn't exist. Deep down inside each human, there's a concealed beast. Anger, Covetousness, Fear, Lust, Violence... These awful beasts cause destruction to oneself. They're known as Sins, Devil's best partner. They tear us apart from God. They can crush us into deadly pieces and if we're not careful enough, we'll be destroyed.
Without God's sufficient grace, we're FINISHED; without His everlasting love, there's no redemption of LIFE; without His unlimited forgiveness, all of us will be carrying our burden of GUILT.
"The thief comes to steal, to kill and to destroy; I've come that they may have life and have it to the full." (John 10:10)
God gave us everlasting life through His Only Son, Jesus Christ.
I faced people who cannot deal with their own anger, I witnessed people who are unfaithful, I read stories about victims beaten up by cruel and heartless masters. These acts indicate that Jesus is coming back for the second time. All these will increase continually as the world comes to an end.
I'm sad of all these happenings. I've seen too much. Mother adviced me: Either all these make me a better person or a bitter person. Better in a sense that I promise myself never to be like them or bitter by giving up hope on others and eventually God. I want to strive to become a BETTER person.
I want to bear these fruits: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Self Control.  

Life, A Time Machine?

In a glimpse of an eye, another year is about to end. Starting with another fresh year → 2014 with new hopes await. What do you want to fulfill in year 2014?
Give some changes to yourself, be a better and grateful person than before. Don't be static with where you are. Instead, make improvements and push yourself to be one of the best.
It's easy just saying but to be That Person, it takes effort, determination, perseverance and patience.
Next year it will be my last year of being a teenager. I mean with a '1' in front if the second digit. 19. Exactly 5 months and 2 days to my special day.
A day which when you pass 21, you won't want to celebrate anymore. A day that reminds you of your age. It's also a good day to be thankful to your parents for not abandoning you but to nurture you.
Life. A time machine that travels you throughout the years. You see, you hear, you feel, you taste and you smell. The 5 senses that helped you carry through life.
Life may be cruel, at times. It may be sweet. This is Life. You enter a new year and end it with 365 days. Then enter another year. It's a repeating process of life...

Christmas isn't really Christmas without Jesus.

There is this verse which kept on ringing in my hand and I've no other choice but to share it.
John 3:16 says that "For God so loved the world that He gave His One and Only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."
��Christmas isn't about Santa Claus, neither it's about having the biggest Christmas tree, it isn't about the gift we received instead there's a special gift for everyone. The only thing you have to do is to receive Him. His name is Jesus. He humbly came to this world and interact with His own creation. He is the savior and by accepting Him into your heart, your sins are cleanse and you gain freedom. Christmas is about Jesus. The one and only one who saves us from sins, who heals, who answers prayers. So are you willing to accept this special gift ���� this Christmas? ��

Object that symbolise me

This morning, our literature lecturer assigned us to use an object that best symbolise ourselves.
He was teaching us poetry, one of my favourite in English.
I associated myself with a door. There are a few reasons why I selected a house door:
A door acts as a protection to a household.
Without a door, the job of a thief will be made much more easier.
It also guards the house, preventing the owner of the house from danger and harm.
To me (since I'm the eldest), my siblings are just like the owner of the house.
When enemies attack, they usually attack the door first.
I'm willing to sacrifice first and protect them from those enemies.
They have a very special place in my heart. And I love them.
A key is also needed to unlock the door.
To know me better, a person must first have the key to unlock the inner me.
I might look serious and mature on the outside but once the door is unlocked,
there you'll find the original me.

 

Classes are getting fun each day. Love my course mates and my course and lecturers too.
Our class have been receiving good comments from the lecturers these past few weeks.
Proud of my class ----> PPISMP TESL Sem1.

Gratitude

Gratitude - one word that is defined as the feeling of being grateful and wanting to express your thanks, yet not everyone is able to be grateful about things.

I admit that sometimes, I can't really express my gratitude and I do not feel grateful all the time. I do complain about my life, of how terrible and lacking I am. I would also compare myself with those who are richer and more capable than me. I used to have this habit of being competitive  and being materialistic. I thought I had grown up of this stage but to my disappointment, I haven't. I've failed myself and also my mum.

It's really a sad case to see myself being this way. I hate being this way but somehow I just feel this way. Maybe I think too much, I worry about unnecessary things, of how people might think about me. It's because of ingratitude and materialisms  that I become disenchanted with what can last forever: relationships.

Nevertheless, I'm happy to have a mum who has strong will about life and also about eternity.

She is the one who nurture my down-cast spirit. She is just like calcium which strengthen my bones. I cannot imagine my life without her. She encourages me when I really need it the most. My prayer to God is please do extend her life-span on earth.

Well, I complaint to her again today. Then she told me a story.

It went like this:

There was once a girl who lived in a city but her family was poor. Her father has been borrowing money from money-lender and there were times when gangsters will come to their doorsteps, banging on the door to demand her father to pay the money that he owed. The girl's life was in danger and she never once feels safe or secure. She is always in alarmed about what might happen next. Fear dwelt within her as there would always be unexpected 'visitors' with thuggish brutality of treating to kill her family if the debts are not settled. She made a vow to herself that she will never let her mother suffer in this kind of situation any more. She wants to be rich and to be protected by true love. She craved for security. But she didn't realize that she has created a creature of unsatisfactory, the desire to owe more and ultimately turned into covetousness, longing for things people has.

After a decade, she was married to a rich man. She nearly has everything she wants but her life was never happy.

She would grumble over her life of how lacking she is but she never once think about the person who is poorer than her.

Her life ended miserably. 

Finally, she asked me: Do you want your life to be like hers? Look at the people around you, not everyone is rich. Maybe God placed you in this family because He wants you to be someone better. Let's say, if you are born in a rich family, not lacking anything, will you learn to be thankful or will you to consider others besides yourself? 

What she said made me thought deeply...

I like this.  

Common occurrence in life.

It's past midnight and I'm still here in the living room, staring at my computer, typing.

I can feel that my eyes are going to bulge out soon.  I just need some space to put my thoughts into words and I think that Blogger is the best place. So, yeah~

Piles of assignments are stacked up, yet non has been completely done.

What's wrong with me, that made me stop?

No ideas? Have no single knowledge to doing it?

I'm feeling agitatedly irritated!

Frustrated… STRESS UP!

These feelings flown through my soul, yet it's still the same.

Not going forward, just ends there.

What am I doing?

What am I thinking?

What have I been writing? Or searching?

Where is the results?

Where the completed job?

*sigh*

They are all there…

Silence  

Two weeks of Raya holidays are nearly coming to an end.

School… Oh wait, it's college life will soon start again in... (counting)

3 more days. That is equivalent to 72 hours.

I miss my college life yet on the other hand, I need more time to complete my work.

We have been told that 2013 batch (which is my first semester) will have some chances concerning the subjects we take. It will be tougher and the government deducted 1 semester from the actual period to finish this course.

So, our seniors would take 5 years and a half month to graduate while we only need 5 years. Our lecturer also stated that we are like guinea pigs to them since almost every subject have some slight chances, more critical thinking is involved.

It's tough but I made my stand of never giving up easily.

Determination is what you need to hang on.

There is no free lunch in this world.

We all have to put in effort and hard work.

Guess my efforts are not enough. 

 Self motivation:

I'm not going to let stress block my way.

If it does, kick it off.

But don't forget to carry on with your unfinished work.

Stop stressing up yourself, Lydia and move on!